What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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