Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
