i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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