i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
