I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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