What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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