just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I will be naked everywhere
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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