Well apparently he's into motor boating.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
