do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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