ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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