I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
