the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
