Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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