I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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