Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i drank out of a bidet.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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