My friends, they love my intelligence
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
