Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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