another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize