well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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