what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
