I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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