It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
