we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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