Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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