so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize