I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't think brook has ever known best
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
