Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
