BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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