My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
