You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
