i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's official drugs can't kill me
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
