Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
