Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
May the power of my ass compel you!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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