she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
