oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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