I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
