My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he puts the penis in happiness.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize