I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
