i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
