I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
