it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
