We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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