we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
