oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize