nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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