I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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