just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
