im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
