They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
