One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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