i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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