I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
