i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
