Someone shit on the floor
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
