Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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