I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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