He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
