what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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