Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
