i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
