He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
