Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
