you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
