my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize