Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize