so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
